Barteaux, Betty Mae - from her obituary
Born May 26, 1920 to Hershel and Hazel Stevens in Los Angeles, California, passed away on January 25, 2005, at her home in Palm Springs, California.
Betty was raised in the West Adams district of Los Angeles and loved to tell stories about how she and her sister, Eileen, worked as box lunch extras at Twentieth Century Fox. Betty graduated from Los Angeles High School in 1938. Shortly after that, according to family legend, she went to the old Santa Monica skating rink near Venice, and spotted a tall, good looking young man across the floor. They skated right at each other, to the middle of the rink.
Thus began her relationship with her husband of over sixty years, Dean Barteaux. Dean and Betty lived in Santa Monica and then moved to Cheviot Hills as Dean's business, Barco Aviation, prospered.
Recollections: Melinda Pillsbury-Foster
It was in Cheviot Hills that they raised their child, the second they adopted, Richard.
The first son they adopted, also Richard, was taken back by the birth mother before their adoption was finalized. Betty, herself, explained this to me while she was also trying to instruct me on what a "good wife" should be. She also shared some of the shocking stories on the traumas she experienced while raising the son they had wanted for so long.
It was clear that Betty knew Richard was very capable of violence.
These stories includes multiple instances of violent outbreaks on Richard's part and a complete disinterest in any kind of schoolwork. Somehow, I was supposed to do something about this, Betty intimated, but since she, his adopted mother and parent, could not, I had not the least idea how to change Richard's behavior. When I learned his I.Q. was 110 much was explained.
Richard, born Joseph Aloysius MANGOLD, his born name, being both highly psychopathic and very disinclined to learning anything, lacked the needed internal resources to change anything.
Otherwise, the content of our conversations involved doing nothing but cooking, ordering the maid around, and paying close attention to one's wardrobe. I was polite, but astonished. My family expectations on what subjects should consume my attention assumed a clear understanding of etiquette, settings for the table, depending on by whom, and where you were being entertained. But from there, they diverged into art, poetry, history, science fiction, and other subjects that did not appear to interest Betty when I tried to introduce these.
Betty was clearly from a family which did not value education, especially for women, highly.
Betty provided books I was expected to read, and I did. But these were only on matters on which I was already well informed. These included the difference between American, French, English and Russian practices for setting the table. Clearly, the kind of event to which you were inviting guests was very much on point.
But these dialogs with Betty were all entirely pedestrian, focusing on minor points. I was polite, and refrained from complaint.
My life's overwhelming focus was studying subjects which interested me. Having begun building my own library by age 4, I had early become addicted to the written word. By age 7 my own library included science fiction, poetry, especially interesting articles from Scientific American, geology, archeology, some sociology and philosophy.
If Richard's parents had not taken him to Hawaii almost immediately after he asked me to marry him, and I had not yet realized why he listened patiently while I talked, occasionally nodding in agreement, and was appallingly ignorant on the subjects introduced, the ring he had presented me with would have been returned forthwith.
So, there I was stuck with him and Betty was showing me, as if this were utterly unknown, how to make deviled eggs and how to mend underwear. This last really surprised me as there was not the least thrift in their lifestyle.
Evidently, it took many years for Betty to finally, grudgingly, admit to herself that Richard, Senior, my former husband of about 7 months when I escaped him, was incapable of holding a job of any kind and also habitually violent.
It appears to have been his relationship with his second wife, who better tolerated abuse than did I, who, for a time, gave them hope Richard would grow into someone who was not violent and also capable to rational and productive action.
As you see from Richard's life-history, this was a hope never to be realized. Instead, they substituted Richard's second son for taking over the family business.
Not that it appears Richard, Junior, actually ran the three businesses. These were later sold so he could focus on his other interests, none of which were at all intellectually taxing.
Betty Knew What She Wanted
From an obituary in the Los Angeles Times:
Betty loved travel, clothes and diamonds. She was a member of the Garden Club of West Los Angeles and the Los Angeles Country Club. She exemplified style, elegance, taste and generosity that seems rare today. Betty and Dean retired to their vacation home in Palm Springs in 1990 where they entertained friends and family with cards, swimming and sight seeing. Betty was predeceased by her husband, Dean; her son, Richard; and her sister, Eileen. She is survived by her grandson, Richard Barteaux, Jr., great-grandchildren, Brooke, Kyle and Travis; granddaughter, Angel Rogers, her husband Damon, great-grandchildren, Jason and Sean; and Betty's nephew, Michael Castle. No services are planned.
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